Cell Phones..I'm Just Sayin....

Cell Phones..I’m Just Sayin…

Today I am an enquiring mind. I want to know why we don’t have more options with our cell phone technology. There are buttons on the side, all over the inside cover, a camera on the outside and even a keyboard hidden away. So… why don’t we have a technology that allows us to click on recession mode. Now on this setting a new screen pops up. “Do you want to screen your debtors now?” it asks. Why yes I would and now I have a new menu. “Please chose an excuse on the following screens” it would say. Ah yes which one did I use last month oh yeah now I remember. I push number 12 and the sample screen comes to life..”Im sorry but I am not available.. sniff..sniff..right now because I have a highly contagious strain of the celluswine flu. This strain..cough cough is highly contagious and can be transferred through cellular tower transmissions. Have a nice day.” Nope used that one in July, how about number 3..”Im surry bud I dot a bat told, doon try to leebe your number tause im too sick to tall ou back.” Well that one didn’t work last month on Gulf Power and probably wont work this month on maw bell. Hmmm.. there it is… the perfect excuse…number 39..”Shhhhh…I’m in a bank hold up..I can’t talk right now…what?? Me?? NO PLEASE NOT ME…click.” Yeah that one was good for three weeks, the Visa people were scared to call back for two months.

Now there is another function I would like to see added to the cell phones. Shock and talk, yeah that’s right I want a little electrode on the ear piece of that phone that senses when you are in a car. The little timer goes on when you first start using it. You have two minutes to say what you need to and than… ZAPPP. I guarantee you it will be more fun riding down the rode watching a moron deep in conversation with his or her smoochums and suddently they rip the phone from their ear and turn it off. Think of the entertainment value alone. Of course then someone needs to sell a remote transmitter that’s good for about 50 yards that will activate that electrode. Can you imagine the fun you would have at the movies or in backed up traffic?

Of course no cell phone wish list would be complete without the dropped call cash exchange. Now with this little software package every time your call is dropped your cell phone carrier has to drop a buck in your account. With my carrier (wont give the name but sounds like P dobble) I figure I could have free cell service and make an extra ten grand a year.

Here is a thought, ever wonder why cell phones opponents warn of brain cancer because the cell phones are so close to your brain and yet its ok to have that radiation strapped to your side where it is so close to your future family endeavors…just saying. I think I will make a cell phone holster for my ankle. Have a great day.