“Doctor’s Visits..I’m certainly not here for a Visit”

Sitting in a doctor’s office waiting on someone can make time stop dead. You read everything around you and it’s usually Women’s Day (I now know what to do about that bloating problem I mean besides stop eating). You get to hear all about everyone’s problems whether you want to or not. I have to admit I seriously doubt the little old granny killed her husband of his tabacky spittin but you never know. I moved down four chairs just in case. Then there is the coughing and hacking person who says “Man this flu is killing me” yup you guessed it, moved another five seats down. I am getting rather close to the door and thinking of waiting in the car. Did you ever notice how uncomfortable the chairs are in doctors offices? I have that one figured out as well. That is so the men can’t sleep and snore. You could put those puppies in your living room and be sure company will not overstay their welcome.

Don’t you love how you can get a 9:00am appointment and the doctor doesn’t even get into his office until 10:30am? They always have that back door to come in through so you can’t see their golf clothes when they come in. Next time you wonder if his mind is on his work, when he turns his back yell FOUR and see if he ducks. If he does, politely excuse yourself as a bogie and leave.Thats the real reason that doctors wear the scrubs with shoe covers. They cover up there Ping golf polo shirts and golf slack along with spiked golfing shoes. Anytime now I expect to visit a hospital that is adjacent to an eighteen hole country club golf course.

I supposed I should have gotten a pack of surgical face mask to come to this office. “How you are doing today ma am?” she replies “Hack cough sneeze gag…fine thank you”. Well you know they aren’t fine by the accompanying sound effects. There needs to be a receptionist at the door like coming into an auto garage. “ Sir please wait for the electronic door seal to depressurize and step into the chamber… I mean room”. That way those of us who are only there as the ride can escape unscathed. Now I am going to make you worry… here it is. All these sick coughing gagging and sneezing patients just came in grabbing the same door knob you grabbed and sat in the same chair you sat in. Ok….feel free to express paranoia. I once worked for a company in Panama City that had potential customers come by and shop. I had the pleasure of meeting a gentleman who shook my hand wearing surgical gloves. He browsed our merchandise and upon entering his automobile three his gloves in the parking lot. I was soooo tempted to run up to him grab his hand one last time, thank him for coming by and slamming his door and watching him scream.

As you can tell I am getting really bored in my wait here. Can you believe it, at these medical care prices and no coffee? What kind of doctor would not have coffee in his office to help his clientel’s drivers to stay awake? I’m sure Obama will make sure a coffee pot will be in every office after his health bill passes. It will make administering the morphine easier for your cost efficient self termination procedure.

Uh oh, someone accidentally let the room get to cool and I feel a nap coming on with a full arsenal of snoring and mumbling. Silly mortals, don’t they know who they are fooling with *YAWN*.? Its too late, save the women and children….I…cant….stop ….it ….knowwww zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ