Sundays end in Pacecola

Ahhhh...it’s nice to be back in my leather office chair in my "study" again among my jun....I mean collectibles. As Floridians often experience, our blissful day of worship and fellowship was interrupted by heavy humidity. I mean heavy to the extent taking off your shoes to exit the church was not enough, it also required rolling up your pant legs to just below the knees. Now I have a nice big golf umbrella and it would have worked perfectly....if golf balls had been falling...but with 30 mile an hour winds and sideways rain... it was a funnel to direct the rain directly between the ears. Here is where cloth seats in an automobile are not so desirable...your butt is not hot from the seat, just cold from the rain and soaked seats.
Now I am by all accounts a southern gentleman of questionable means (my wife means to question them a lot) so I decided the gentlemanly thing to do would be to bring the Jeep Cherokee to the back door where the water is only an inch or two deep. I run for the Jeep, making sure to equally soak my entire shoes, socks and bottom 4 inches of my pants cuffs (yeah I was too lazy to take off the shoes and roll up the cuffs), I get to said Jeep just 50 feet away and notice the umbrella is doing a marvelous job...keeping the 5 feet to my left dry in the wind. I climb in, proud of my accomplishment and head for the back door. There against the building lies the pretty green Ford truck of the Pastor. I’m thinking a re-election might be in order about now. How wonderful to find the truck occupied but a deacon who graciously moves the truck .....(Really, the accelerator was stuck revving the engine causing the horn to blow). I picked up mama and made for a restaurant of fine(translates cheap) Mexican cuisine. Now we are back on top of our game....for a minute. I look down at my gauges and notice I am pinging empty. How lovely, I am sure I can find a station under shelter to refuel my comfortable SUV, ah yes Wal-Mart. I pull in only to find the only pump open is on the end convenient to the free car wash coming off the roof straight above where I would stand to pump gas. I get out, put my credit card into the pump and see the words "See Attendant", I pull another card and the same thing happens. How wonderful to know the attendant would like to have a long meaningful conversation with me but perhaps another time. I observe at this point others doing the same. Now while there is a smidgen of cover at the pump, there is absolutely nothing by the cashier’s window. Never mind, I can just pray it home. 1000 yards beyond Wal-Mart was sunny skies and dry ground. Yup it figures, I nervously located another station in the bright Florida sunshine, continued my journey to my favorite Mexican encounter and headed home so I could follow the directions on a true Mexican feast and enjoy a siesta. Adios Ya’ll.